Why nice guys are the worst

Next day he started messaging me, asking if he could come over. I just really didn't know what to say since I regretted giving him my number and was honestly busy, so I didn't reply to him. He kept sending messages for hours, and tried calling me from different numbers. I told him I couldn't talk to him right then, and wasn't interested in him anyway. He then told me that it was unfair of me to not give him a chance since I was single too, and I would have to give him a real reason to stop harassing me lol he actually used the word harass.

I was also shallow just like all the other women, he wished that no guy would approach me ever again, and I broke his heart. I still see him sometimes but just ignore him. He complained about the art the whole time, then complained about the food at lunch. We then went to the park and he complained about that. Then at the end I went to say goodbye, and he kissed me unexpectedly.

When I told him that I didn't think we were a good fit, but I appreciated him taking the time to test the waters with me, he proceeded to scream at me - and tell me I was a bitch and curse at me. He followed this up with a full week worth of constant cursing through social media and texts, until I blocked him everywhere.

He then sent me a candle through the [post]. Within 30 minutes of arriving he got drunk and naked, his ex girlfriend [turned up] and he knew she was coming, I did not.

He then got dressed, and made her cry by talking about how awful the sex with her was. A couple months later he sent me a message about how being ghosted like this was why he became so heartless. He said he would have been amazing to me, and I didn't deserve to be with him , and I would have to work to regain his trust.

Should have been the first alarm bell. He also complained about how the issue of sexism at his work came up because he got promoted over a female candidate , and how stupid that was because the panel that promoted him had women on it.

The idea is that if you meet someone's needs without them having to ask, they should meet yours. Dr Glover said: "Others typically do not realise these contracts exist and are often surprised when the Nice Guy lashes out at their failure to keep their end of the deal.

And when things don't go their way, they often complain that they've been "friend-zoned" despite the target of their affections never being interested in the first place. On the Reddit forum dedicated to the subject, the ulterior motives of Nice Guys are highlighted using social media posts and screengrabs:. A ccording to Professor Adam Grant , although being nice may not get you what you want in the short-term, it could pay off after all because people will want your help further down the line.

Whilst it may be that the object of your affections is only interested in friendship, Dr Marczyk believes that if you find yourself feeling resentful about being in the 'friend-zone', you need to change yourself to increase your chances of getting out. That's a formula for disappointment. Your friends are shocked when you break up. When you're with a jerk, your friends get excited for his departure. The asshole showed only you his emotional side, so your relationship stays between the two of you.

It works out nicely when you break up with an asshole because no one liked him in the first place. And you won't find out months later your friends have been liking the asshole's Instagram pictures with his new girlfriend. They are eager to please and surprise you all the time with their generosity. And this isn't limited to material generosity.

Jerks will continue to take charge in the bedroom. Nice guys should be approached with the same caution you would have for a jerk. I'm not saying you should date a jerk. I'm just simply explaining why they get the girl. By Unwritten.